Santa Claus an Exclusive Interview! PART 3

Icing Sugar Bunny from Diaphanous Cerulean 6 asked why Santa has flying reindeer instead of flying bulls, this video shows why this is so, Santa works with elves not cowboys darlings! (Elves are from Middle Earth and cowboys are from Nashville).

This is PART 3 of a 3 part exclusive interview with Santa Claus by award winning journalist and gossip hound Eye Candy (presented by SOL 3 NEWS part of IGTDN). Missed earlier parts of the interview darlings? Here they are dished up for you by Eye Candy PART 1 and PART 2 now we continue with Santa…

I Eye Candy continue my probing of Claus “Sweet Santa darling, Looney has asked about your views on the ‘recent efforts of the United Nations to allow elves to form unions along with international agreements mandating card check’ he always comes up with these helpful questions Claus.”

For a moment Santa seems perplexed (are not we all darlings?) but then he answers like a bull in a china shop “Well Eye Candy and Looney to be frank I am not a government, ho ho ho, I am just Santa Claus, I am an equal opportunity employer so if Sol 3ites choose to form same sex unions I just follow the local jurisdiction. Ho ho ho I don’t play cards!” Well Looney I am sure you found that answer from Claus to be simply riveting; he is so happy and gay answering questions!

I continue my investigation into the mind of Claus “Santa baby one of the common questions you must get asked but never seem to give a clear answer to is: how do you deliver all those gifts in one night? After all it seems a logistics nightmare.” After asking this question I nonchalantly shook my hair back into a slightly dishevelled appearance as I find it throws males I am interviewing off their game providing more frank answers.

For a moment Santa is mesmerized but then answers the question “Well Eye Candy, have you ever thought of doing shampoo commercials? Ho ho ho, I am going to come clean with you here Candy Cane Girl. When we first started delivering gifts we would do it all in one night by flying reindeer. However today, ho ho ho, we primarily use five methods. We deliver gifts throughout the year but leave them invisible then on Christmas turn on the visibility. We also use time released gifts with the help of one of our sponsors Pleasura Travel, time travel is a very efficient way to deliver such a massive amount of gifts over a short time. Another method we use is teleportation on Christmas we simply teleport the gifts. Of course we still use flying reindeer, although we are concerned about Rudolph’s nose being stuck in hyper drive. One of our major delivery methods is the global population; they do a wonderful job of delivering gifts. Ho ho ho!”

I even I Eye Candy am for an instant stunned at this answer. To think that the Sol 3 population helps to deliver Christmas gifts is quite the revelation! As I pondered this concept Claus made a suggestion that I intend to follow up on, a journalist has to be prepared to follow leads from their sources.

“Eye Candy if you really want the ultimate Christmas story you should time travel to the First Christmas.” Claus made this suggestion so casually that I almost let it glide past. Then I thought it may be a nice way to spend the long weekend! Afterwards I could go bowling and then attend a flying reindeer barbeque! Who would have thought Rudolph would be such a good chef?

On Christmas Day I will be reporting live from Bethlehem 2000 years ago. Brought to you by our sponsor Pleasura Travel exclusively on Sol 3 News!

Claus and I then indulged in what is called a “snowball fight”. Opponents scoop snow into balls in their hands and then throw them at each other! My hair became more dishevelled and I almost spilt my coffee!